We have all been there, feeling bashful, shy, and even self-conscious because of a sexual encounter. However, for some men and women, the idea of sex may actually be so daunting that they will avoid it completely. In this article, we are going to further discuss what comes about when you find the idea of sex daunting. Read on to learn more about it!
Lacking Self-Confidence in Bed
Table of Contents
- 1 Lacking Self-Confidence in Bed
- 2 Ways to Overcome the Idea of Sex Daunting
Finding the thought of sex may incredibly be intimidating. Whether it is because of bad experiences in the past, anticipation about future sexual encounters, sexual dysfunction, body confidence issues, and many others, it is a common issue, which a lot of us face.
A psychosexual therapist in the name of Krystal Woodbridge suggests that having the idea of sex daunting can be so intimidating and may be centered around the body image, most especially for women, as well as how they perceive their own partner want them to look like.
Furthermore, a lot of women also do not have confidence in initiating sex. It is quite common, specifically for women who are struggling in this particular area, that they have not actually explored their body via the things like masturbation or understand their sexual fantasies, sexual urges, and sexual desires.
A lot of men actually feel that they must perform and this relentless worry regarding their ability in bed may lead to performance anxiety. In the actual fact, men often feel that they need to act in a particular way, take charge of the situation, as well as maintain the erection. However, some men find this very debilitating.
More often than not, those who are suffering from a sexual issue like low sexual drive, vaginismus, premature ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction, may also have problems regarding sexual confidence.
More often than not, these issues may put people off in getting into a new relationship since when it comes to the initiation of sex that might be something they usually do, they actually hold back as they do not want their own partner to know that there’s some sort of sexual problem.
Ways to Overcome the Idea of Sex Daunting
Feeling daunted and unconfident by sex may be overcome. Here are some ways on how you can overcome the idea of sex daunting:
Do not be scared to dim the lights.
Lighting is very important –most especially if you are body conscious. Do not be so frightened to say what you need from your partner. If you really want it to be dark for the first time, say it. You may begin turning up the dimmer switch when you feel like your confidence is already high. In case you are not still confident with dim lights, try turning it off. If you feel more comfortable with this, then do it.
Get your attitude right.
Remember, sex is not an examination. You are not going to be graded either pass or fail. In the case that you feel that you are, then you are with the wrong person. Therefore, you need to stop stressing and overthinking that it must be the perfect sex, you will have. Bear in mind that a perfect sex occurs to people in movies. The normal people jumble through their first time.
Explore the body with solo sex.
If you are not already doing this, begin having some solo sex sessions in order to get the body in the habit of feeling the orgasm. You can do this by using sex toys. Furthermore, there are some good starters’ toys that you can try. Bear in mind that the more you explore your body and know what feels good and what does not, the more confident you will be in bed with your partner. Sex toys are actually a great way in discovering how the body works and what it reacts to, thus making you more confident and sexually happier.
Stick to the basics if it’s your first time.
One more big concern for those who find the idea of sex daunting is: what if they do not know what to really do? Aren’t the people doing some stuff in bed I am not aware of? Both sexes unnecessarily worry about this one. The way that we meet people to have a sexual intercourse with may have entirely changed. However, once you are having it already, it is a bit the same scenario. In spite of everything, there are just so many physical sex acts that you can perform and most people choose to stick to the basics when it is their first time.
Think about your teenage years and take some cue there.
Begin slowly with the foreplay. If both of you really like each other, and are both anxious, it is so much like swimming slowly on a freezing pool, rather than diving deep. The mere thought of having a full sex after a few foreplay sessions altogether will actually feel la lot less scarier.
Only have sex when you are ready.
Forget about any biased notions you have in mind about needing to climb in the bed on the date 3. Have sex when you feel that you are ready. You have to do it when you trust, feel, and know too well that you are comfortable enough to sleep with them